A lot has happened since my last entry. Though the urge to write once again lingered on my mind for some time, the priorities of life bested me for the better part of the past few months. I also feel it would be a disservice to write simply for the sake of writing. I do now, however, find that I have the time and mindset to write once more.

Interestingly enough, it was a little over a year ago that I first started this blog. Reflecting back upon that time in my life, things were much different than they are now. Not only my situation, but the person  I have become. At that point, I was searching for myself. Being abroad had definitely changed my perspective about a lot of things, but what to do with that perspective was unknown. The thrill of the change, seeking out the unknown, these were things that called to me, and I wasn’t satisfied with saying in the same place for too long.

After my year long stay in Japan, a life changing experience, I came back to the United States, which now seemed both familiar, yet foreign after my time in Japan. It’s true what they say, one can never truly understand their own culture unless they know at least two. The differences I noticed ranged from mildly amusing to surprising. From the food, to the way people interacted, what was acceptable and what was deemed odd. Nuances in speech patterns. Simple gestures. The differences and the reality of it all flooded my mind and place me in a dreamlike trance. The past year, did it actually happen? The change I felt in my mind was so drastic that everything back home seemed to have stayed the same. Though many questions were present, the most important one stayed with me for some time: Where to now?

I took the year to fulfill my own desires, traveling to other places I wanted to venture to. Thankfully I had the opportunity to stay with a wonderful family in France for a month. Many more firsts with this step, I was of course anxious, but I did my best to focus on the experiences this would bring me. Walking off the plane, the weather was rainy, a common theme in my travels. Though the weather was gloomy, the welcome I received from my host parents was quite warm, and throughout my stay I felt extremely welcome. My new family took me to interesting places, many off the beaten path, which I greatly appreciated. Though the memories of the places are wonderful, more precious to me are the memories of the people I met. The conversations we had, their personal outlooks on life, their ambitions, I would gladly sit down with them at a café and have a chat any time.

Upon returning to the States, I had even more new experiences, taking on a role of instructor and activity leader at an English Summer camp. Teaching to students from around the world was nothing new to me, but the age range was younger than I was accustomed to. In the beginning, it was a struggle for me, and at times I felt I wasn’t cut out for it. After some consideration though, I remembered that I had already been through tough times before, and most of the most rewarding experiences happen after my struggles. So I pushed through, found my rhythm, and even connected with many of my students. I was also able to be useful to the management, on a few occasions where no one else was able to handle it. One such occasion that sticks in my mind is when a brother and sister from Japan stayed at the camp for a week. Though the staff was quite friendly, the pair were reluctant to speak, likely shy and nervous being in such a new environment, a familiar feeling to me. Though my Japanese wasn’t (and still isn’t) perfect, I was able to communicate with them, ask if they needed anything, let them know the staff was there to help, and answer their questions to the best of my abilities. This experience made me realize that an opportunity to use a skill can arise at any moment, not just when it’s expected. It really made me want to sharpen my Japanese skills, along with my other languages. After a busy seven weeks, I said goodbye to my fellow coworkers, keeping in touch with a few, and looked forward to my next adventure.

My next excursion brought me to Montreal, Canada. My main purpose was to visit a language festival, where lovers of learning languages would gather to view seminars and talk with like minded people, I also had the opportunity to explore for a bit. It’s definitely a place packed with life and atmosphere, and though my stay was short, I did learn more about myself from it. I realized just how independent I had become. Before, I struggled to go anywhere on my own, not feeling confident enough in my own skin, wanting to bring someone else with me to feel safe. Yet here I was, in a different country, surrounded by a different language (French), walking the streets, entering bars and chatting with the people I met, no where near as timid as I would have been a year ago. I was confident, independent, and didn’t need anyone to lean on. Longing to be such a person, I hadn’t realized I already was.

I soon found myself back in Japan, still looking for answers, still finding out more about myself. My job was teaching conversation English to University students in Tokyo. The job itself was good, and I met many wonderful students whom I miss to this day (as I do all of my students from the past), but my most memorable experiences happened outside of work. From becoming a regular at a Japanese bar with my coworker, singing karaoke in front of strangers without a care in the world, or enjoying a cup of coffee and a conversation with a special someone, my time in these three months back in Japan were very impactful, and made me realize a simple fact: I didn’t want to leave Japan. Though I still long to travel to other countries, I felt the need for a stable home base, somewhere to hang my hat and not leave after just getting comfortable. I was tired of bouncing around so much without stability, fitting my life in a couple suitcases and always on the move. This was appealing to me a year ago, but as I’m getting closer to the answer of who I am, and getting to know myself more, I’m realizing what I need and how to better balance my life. However, before I settled down in Japan, there was time for one more adventure this year.

A quick trip to Taiwan followed, and as I expected, it was quite enjoyable. New sights, new adventures, new experiences. The chance to eat delicious new food, sitting down and chatting with a friend, being immersed in a new environment, I do enjoy the feeling immensely. I do feel I will return to Taiwan, at some point in the future, as with other places I visited this past year.

January came and I found myself back in Japan, back in Tochigi. The place where my journey of self discovery began. Having returned, a more experience person, taking on new challenges, I have another goal in mind. Last year, my goal was to find out more of who I am, figuring out what I want in life, where I want to be, whom I want to share time with. I feel that 2018 was a successful year in many rights, and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. This year, I want to focus on my skills, building myself up, shaping myself into the person I want to be. There are many things I want to achieve in that regard, and it’ll be tough of course. However, I have the drive to do so, as well as support from many people, both near and far. I’m thankful for my experiences, and am looking forward to making new one as well.